Chaos at the MCG as Boxing Day Test Turns Into a Batting Nightmare
So, let’s talk about what unfolded at the MCG on Boxing Day, because it was one of the most bizarre and chaotic opening days of Ashes cricket we’ve seen in years. This was supposed to be a celebration of Test cricket — sun out, a record crowd packed into Melbourne, and the biggest rivalry in the game taking centre stage. Instead, it turned into a farce where batting looked almost impossible and good sense seemed to be completely abandoned.
Australia batted first and, frankly, struggled badly. They were bowled out for just 152 before tea, with even experienced names failing to cope with a pitch that offered movement off the seam, uneven bounce, and just enough pace to make every delivery feel dangerous. The surface was doing a bit of everything, and batting was clearly going to be hard work all day. Australia didn’t pass the test, but at least it was attempted. They tried to dig in, they tried to survive, and some resistance was shown, even if it didn’t last long.
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England’s response, though, was something else entirely. Instead of knuckling down and respecting the conditions, their batting was described — fairly — as cowardly. Wickets were thrown away in the name of aggression, as if survival itself had been rejected as an option. Harry Brook charging down the pitch to Mitchell Starc on his very first ball summed it up perfectly. Tens of thousands of fans laughed, not because it was brave, but because it was ridiculous. England collapsed in a blur, bowled out for 110, barely offering any resistance at all.
The defence will be that the pitch was too dangerous to bat on and that quick runs were the only option. But that argument feels like an admission of defeat. Instead of trying to meet the challenge, England chose to pretend recklessness was freedom. It spared Australia from deeper embarrassment over their own fragile batting order and shifted the spotlight firmly onto England’s approach.
By stumps, Australia were back out batting and somehow ended the day with a 46-run lead. Scott Boland, cheered like a folk hero, safely survived as a nightwatchman and even cracked a boundary, which brought the house down. Twenty wickets fell in a single day, the pitch was heavily criticised, and former players openly questioned whether Test cricket should look like this.
For now, Australia remain firmly in control of the series, and the party atmosphere continues. But beneath the laughter, the music, and the festive haze, some serious concerns are being quietly ignored. The cracks are still there. They’re just being covered up — for now — by England’s refusal to fight.
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