Paul Reubens Breaks Silence on His Sexuality and Scandals in Emotional Final Interview
The world lost a true comedy icon when Paul Reubens, beloved for his portrayal of Pee-wee Herman, passed away in July 2023 after battling cancer. But before his death, Reubens left behind an emotional and deeply revealing legacy in the documentary Pee-wee as Himself , which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January 2025. This two-part film provides an intimate glimpse into his life, featuring over 40 hours of interviews conducted with the actor before his passing. It’s an unflinching look at his career, his struggles, and most poignantly, his personal life.
In his final interviews, Reubens opened up for the first time about his sexuality and the secrecy that surrounded it for much of his career. He acknowledged that while he had many private relationships, he felt conflicted about his sexuality, admitting, “I was secretive about my sexuality even to my friends... out of self-hatred or self-preservation.” Fame and public perception were major barriers for him, and he felt pressured to maintain a perfect, innocent public persona, which often meant hiding the truth about who he really was.
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The documentary goes beyond just his sexuality, also revealing the painful scandals that shaped Reubens' public image. It was in 1991 when he was arrested for indecent exposure, a charge that rocked his carefully crafted image as a family-friendly entertainer. Despite the serious nature of the charges, Reubens fought back against the public's judgment, stating that he had been unfairly vilified. "It’s shocking what horrible, awful stuff people think about me," he says, reflecting on how the arrest haunted him for years.
Reubens also touches on another deeply painful moment in his life: the controversy surrounding his alleged possession of child pornography in 2001. Although the charges were eventually dropped, the damage to his reputation lingered, as he was unfairly labeled. He describes how the situation completely altered how people saw him, revealing how difficult it was to have his character maligned.
Despite the public's reaction to these scandals, Reubens sought redemption and healing in later years, continuing to perform and create. He even brought Pee-wee Herman back to the stage in 2010 with a Broadway show and in 2016 with Pee-wee's Big Holiday . Through it all, Reubens never fully reconciled his public persona with his private life, but the documentary allows him to speak directly to his audience about the man behind the character.
Perhaps the most touching moment in the film comes when Reubens, in his final audio message recorded just before his death, says, “More than anything, the reason I wanted to make a documentary was for people to see who I really am.” His words capture the deep pain he felt throughout his life, constantly hiding parts of himself from the world. He reveals how important it was for him to have his story told, especially in his final moments. "I wanted to talk about and have some understanding of what it’s like to be labeled a pariah, to have people scared of you, or unsure of you, or untrusting," he said.
Though he never sought to be a figurehead for any cause, Reubens' vulnerability in these final reflections offers fans a raw look at the complexity of being an entertainer, the emotional toll of fame, and the painful consequences of living a life hidden in the shadows. Through this documentary, he leaves behind not just the legacy of Pee-wee Herman, but also a more complete understanding of the man who brought him to life.
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