M&S Apologises After Trans Employee Offers Teen Bra Fitting Help
So, here’s what happened recently at a Marks & Spencer store that’s stirred up quite a bit of public debate. It’s the kind of story that really highlights the tension between inclusion and sensitivity—especially when it involves young people.
Back in March, a mother took her 14-year-old daughter shopping for her first bra at an M&S. As many parents know, this can be a delicate milestone. For a teenage girl, getting a bra fitting is already awkward and emotional—so you’d expect some privacy and comfort in that moment.
But things took an unexpected turn. While they were browsing in the lingerie section, they were approached by a staff member—someone the mother describes as a very tall, biologically male assistant who identifies as transgender. This employee offered to help them with the bra fitting. Although the assistant was said to be polite, the mother declined the offer and promptly left the store with her daughter, who she says was visibly upset by the interaction.
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Afterwards, the mother filed a complaint with M&S. In response, the company issued an apology via email, saying they understood how significant that moment was for her daughter and were sorry it didn’t go the way she’d hoped. M&S also assured her that if the girl returned, she’d be helped by a female colleague, and they committed to introducing a new policy: transgender staff would no longer approach young women in the lingerie section.
The controversy quickly gained traction, with some arguing that M&S should’ve anticipated the discomfort this situation might cause. Critics, including campaigners like Fiona McAnena from the charity Sex Matters , pointed out that putting a biologically male staff member—no matter how they identify—in a position to assist teenage girls with such an intimate task was inappropriate. According to them, it reflects a prioritisation of inclusivity policies over customer comfort, especially for minors.
It’s important to note that the employee didn’t act aggressively or inappropriately, and M&S’s apology was swift and respectful. But still, many are asking why such a situation was allowed to happen in the first place. For a lot of parents and teens, the issue isn’t about being anti-trans—it’s about maintaining boundaries, particularly in sensitive environments like lingerie sections.
In the end, the story serves as a reminder that policies meant to promote inclusion must also consider the nuances of customer experience, especially when children are involved.
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