Jen Hatmaker’s Painful Discovery and Powerful Comeback
In her new memoir Awake , Jen Hatmaker, the bestselling author, podcaster, and former HGTV personality, opens up about one of the most devastating nights of her life — the moment she realized her husband of 26 years had been unfaithful.
It happened in the early hours of July 11, 2020. Jen woke up around 2:30 a.m. to the sound of her husband, Brandon, whispering into his phone. She listened as he murmured to another woman, “I just can’t quit you.” The words, combined with the smell of alcohol on him, shattered everything she thought she knew about her marriage. That quiet moment, she says, was the end of life as she had known it.
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Jen had been married since she was 19. Together, she and Brandon built not only a family of five children — three biological and two adopted — but also a church community in Austin, Texas. They co-founded the evangelical Austin New Church in 2008 and even starred on HGTV’s My Big Family Renovation . For years, they had been seen as the “cool” Christian couple who balanced faith with progressive values. But behind the scenes, their marriage had been unraveling.
That night, after hearing her husband’s words, Jen searched his computer and uncovered what she now calls a “trail of betrayal.” The affair had been going on for a long time, complete with expensive gifts and reckless spending that left the family’s finances in chaos. By morning, when Brandon woke up, she told him to leave the house.
In Awake , Jen describes how the following months were some of the hardest of her life. She was parenting five kids during a global pandemic, all while dealing with the emotional wreckage of betrayal and trying to figure out the financial mess left behind. Anxiety and depression took hold, and she says she felt like a complete failure — especially since she had spent years encouraging other women to stand strong, use their voices, and seek healthy relationships.
But Jen also makes it clear that her book is not just about the end of her marriage. It’s about starting over. In order to heal, she had to walk away not only from her husband but also from the church that had shaped her adult life. Returning to that space, she explains, was too painful, carrying not just her own grief but also the shock and pity of others. Instead, she began to explore faith in new and more personal ways, finding meaning outside of traditional religious spaces.
Today, Jen is in a much different place. She’s a grandmother now, in a long-distance relationship with author Tyler Merritt, and she says she finally feels free. Her story, while raw and deeply personal, is meant to offer hope. As she puts it, she is finally in the driver’s seat of her own life — and she vows never to hand over that control again.
Her memoir Awake is both a painful confession and a declaration of resilience, showing how even in the face of betrayal, new life can be built from brokenness.
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